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To my precious children, Brandon and Justin, I love you with every fibre of my being and I am so very sorry that my choices took your father away from you. He has never stopped loving you, and I promise you that he walks beside you every day.

To Grant’s family; the souls who were destroyed when your son and brother left this earth so suddenly, leaving you with more questions than answers, I will forever carry the pain of your loss. Please know that I never wanted Grant’s journey here to end the way it did. For that I am deeply sorry.

To each and every soul who has travelled with me on my perilous journey of bringing my story into the light, I thank you with all the gratitude in my heart. The list is too long to fit on this page, but I know that you know who you are and the role you have played during my voyage towards self-liberation and inner peace.

A special word of thanks goes out to Lisa Botha; thank you for your pragmatism, your unfaltering support and your love, right up until the very end.

To Chris Ferreira; thank you for helping me to keep it together through my darkest hours, and for your unwavering compassion, empathy and care.

To my parents Denny and Mo, my sister Kate and my brother Magnus; I will always be thankful to you for grounding me, for never questioning me, and for always standing by my choices.

To the Fire Claw Tribe; without the accountability that this special group has brought with it, this book would not have seen its completion so quickly.

To Donna McCallum and Nick Hawke, for inspiring me to start the writing process. To Justin Cohen, for inspiring me to complete it.

To the virtual proof readers and Grammar Nazis, Chris Ferreira, Lydia Craemer, Linda Smith and Sonia Pietropaolo; thank you for spotting and correcting all my typos.

And finally to Ceri, my greatest teacher, I thank you.

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